Everything Eventually Ends
by rainbow-dango
Summary: Chapter nineteen of Into the Dark. Because this website won't update the original fic, sadly. I suggest reading the fic, but I guess this could work as a standalone. UPDATE: You can now view this chapter in Into the Dark.


_A/N: Okay, Ellie, it's only Saturday. You know a snow day, but still, you should be on schedule. My lovely readers, there is a real reason I'm posting this today, rather than tomorrow. I have a question for you: do you want an epilogue? Because if you do, I'll have this posted today and the epilogue tomorrow. Or do you just wanna leave it as is? Let me know! _

_Enjoy!_

_(And by enjoy I mean cry for all eternity, of course)_

_P.S. Sorry I had to upload this as a one-shot. Damn this website and its errors._

* * *

_Daddy?_

_Silly, why are you crying too? It's nothing bad, I was just thinking of Mommy._

- Ushio and Tomoya Okazaki (_Clannad: After Story_)

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

August 20, 2012

1 Day Before

The next few days passed in a blur of symptoms – hallucinations, fevers, blinding headaches, intense dizziness, rashes crawling farther across her skin, seizures. She stopped eating altogether – he tried to get her to at least have a cracker or two, but she refused. She was a grown woman, he wasn't about to force feed her.

She coughed up blood a lot, too. He'd never forget the time she woke him up in the middle of the night with blood on her hands, in her mouth, on her lips, on her shirt, and even staining the tips of her long hair. He had to give her a bath, because she couldn't stop crying. He didn't know whether she was in pain or just scared, and it broke his heart to not be able to help her (but that was nothing new).

Her breathing grew worse, as well. There were times when she really struggled for breath, and he considered taking her to the hospital. But she begged him not to, and he couldn't force himself to force her to go.

On the upside, she'd started to make a habit of lying completely on top of him. He didn't know where it came from, but he was grateful for it. He liked having her right there, her head tucked under his.

But all in all, he was writer – he knew the last chapter when he saw it.

* * *

He still remembers the exact moment.

9:02. Kate had spent most of the day battling an excruciating headache and vomiting more than he thought possible for somebody who didn't eat. She was finally asleep, so he was making himself a late dinner.

He'd _just _taken the first bite of his sandwich when he heard Kate calling for him in the bedroom. With a sad sigh, he abandoned his sandwich.

She could barely breathe. He sat against the headboard with her curled up against him, gently rubbing her back.

"C-Castle . . ."

"Shh, Kate, it's okay. Just relax." He murmured.

"I . . . I think . . ."

"Relax, Kate. You can tell me in the morning, okay?"

She was quiet for a moment, struggling for breath. He rubbed her back, biting his lip to hold back the tears. He wished he could help her.

"I . . . l-love . . . you . . . t-thank . . . you . . ."

It took half a second for it to dawn on him. "Kate . . . not tonight, okay? You . . . you could still have another month."

He knew how ridiculously selfish he sounded, but he didn't want to lose her. _Couldn't_ lose her.

"Sorry . . ."

"Don't be sorry. This . . . this isn't your fault. I . . . I love you, too. So much. It's me who should be thanking you. For putting up with me, and being . . . being the most remarkable person I've ever known. And . . . and . . . we're going to have a baby, Kate. And they're going to be just like you, they're going to be absolutely wonderful. But because they're just like you, they're gonna drive me to an early grave."

He was rambling, but it made her smile. God, he loved her smile. What would he do without it? Without . . . without her?

"I love you so much. I . . . I'll see you later."

"You . . . you saw . . . the video?"

"Yeah, I did," he admitted, a little bit softer, not wanting to get her angry right before . . .

"S'okay. Didn't . . . hide it . . . very well . . ."

He smiled a little, and kissed the top of her head.

"I . . . I'm . . . tired . . ."

"I . . . I know you are. You've had a long day. Go ahead and sleep."

"You . . . you sure?"

He nodded, a few tears escaping. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to make her stay awake, to make her stay alive. But he wasn't that selfish. She was clearly exhausted – she deserved to get some rest.

"I . . . I love . . . you . . ."

And the last thing Kate heard before drifting off to sleep was her partner whispering, "Always."

* * *

She was still breathing when he fell asleep at about three in the morning.

* * *

She was not breathing when he woke up.

* * *

"Daddy?"

He looks at his daughter – Kate's daughter – and sees that she's crying. He realizes that he's crying too, and scoops up Nicole.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Thinking of Mommy still . . . still makes me sad. I still miss her."

"Me too," Nicole murmurs.

He kisses her head, doesn't know what to say to that.

"Mommy loved me, right?" The little girl sounds so disbelieving, and has every right to. Like the doctor predicted, Kate died before a surrogate was even found.

"Mommy loved you very much, Nicole. And she still does."

"In heaven?"

"Yeah, baby. In . . . in heaven."

Nicole nods, curling up into him, half-hiding her face in his shirt.

"Let's go home, okay?"

She nods again.

"Bye, Kate."

"Bye, Mommy."

* * *

_Epilogue?_

_-Ellie_

_P.S. There's a suspicious lack of dates in this chapter, I know. It's definitely reflective of Castle's emotions - everything blurring together. Time blurring together. Everything's confusing and chaotic, rather than the clinical deterioration that's been going on for the past few months. Does that make sense? Probably not. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed this chapter anyway._


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